20 Nov Exciting News about “Grey Divorce” book

Announcing  the upcoming  publication of our book  “  When Harry Left Sally – Finding your way through Grey Divorce” .   It will be available in a couple of weeks.  I’ll keep you updated to let you know when it will be available to order from online retailers and dedicated website for “When Harry Left Sally”.

Co-authored by Marion Korn, a well known senior family lawyer and mediator, and Eva Sachs, a skilled Financial Planner, specializing in divorce, the book shines a light on the growing numbers of grey divorcees and their unique concerns and goals.  Through stories collected in their years of practice together, Marion and Eva challenge the reader to change the way they approach their divorce. This book is the roadmap every divorcing grey couple needs.

Here’s a preview look!

Finding your way through Grey Divorce

09 May Grey Divorce and the Current Economy

As the ups and downs of  the economy continues, so does the stress on couples considering separation after long term marriage and  facing retirement.

Couples now have to deal with financial issues  that are unique at this stage of their lives.

  • How to pay the bills if both of you are retired ?
  • How to cope with the primary bread winner working less, or not at all?
  • What if your spouse is spending more time at home?
  • How to accept a change in who is the primary earner in the marriage? (Wives making more than husbands is a fast growing trend because more men are being laid off than women).
  • How do you deal with downsizing  to a new home?
  • How to handle the added tension when grown children move back into the home due to their being laid off or not finding a job?

Dealing with these financial realities in an adversarial process doesn’t help anyone in the long run, especially at this time of your life.  Working in a mediation or collaborative setting can help create customized solutions that may ease these financial realities and help everyone transition to a secure future.

10 Apr Grey Divorce

In 2009, people ages 50 and older were twice as likely to divorce as their counterparts in 1990. Researchers have just begun to explore why. They know that, for many boomer couples, the kids are out of the house and it’s time to face reality. Who gets to keep what is  even more stressful at this age when  you have to consider the financial impact  this will have on the rest  of your life.

If you or someone you know is facing divorce in their 50’s, this is a  reminder that we are hosting “Late in Life” Divorce Talks on Thurs Apr 12th. Join us to hear about the what the financial  effects might be depending on whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee.

To register click here  http://www.eventbrite.com/event/2544127554

05 Apr We don’t want to go to court!!

For  couples contemplating separation or divorce at later stage of life, the costs of   prolonged negotiations that may erode assets that they’ ve set aside for their retirement  is not what they want to see happen. There are viable alternatives to costly litigation  that  allows the couple, rather than the court, to decide what is best for them.

If you or someone you know is facing divorce, join us on Apr 12  at “Late in Life” Divorce Talks.
Learn how our mediation process works and how it differs from litigation.  To register CLICK HERE

12 Mar LIVE Divorce Talks… April 12th at 6:30pm

If you are considering a divorce, join Marion and myself for a conversation about the things that matter the most when thinking about separation and divorce – kids, finances and your future.  Our goal is to give you the answers you need in a safe and comfortable setting.  If you or someone you know is contemplating separation, join us to learn how to move from where you are today to a plan that works best for you and your family

Our next Divorce Talks session will take place on Thursday April 12th, 2012 6:30 to 8pm.

Fee: $25 (inclusive of HST)

Location: 79 Shuter St. Toronto, ON M5B 1B3

Refreshments will be served. 

For more information or to register please contact us at 647-341-9040 or   by e-mail at info@mutualsolutions.ca

Please register by Friday April 6th, 2012 at http://www.eventbrite.com/event/2544127554

21 Feb Divorce and the New Financial Reality

As  the  ups and downs of in the economy  increase,  so does the stress on married people to deal with the  inevitable pressure points that develop in the relationship.

Couples now have to deal with financial problems that are new to their relationship.

  • How to pay the bills if both of you are unemployed?
  • How to cope with the primary bread winner working less, or not at all
  • What if your spouse is spending more time at home?
  • How to accept a change in who is the primary earner in the marriage? (Wives making more than husbands is a fast growing trend because more men are being laid off than women).
  • How to live with the threat, or the reality, of being forced to move due to a mortgage foreclosure or rental eviction?
  • How to handle the added tension when grown children move back into the home due to their being laid off or not finding a job?

Dealing with these financial realities in an adversarial process doesn’t help anyone in the long run.   Working in a mediation or collaborative setting can help both spouses and families work through options and solutions that may ease these financial realities and help everyone transition to a secure future.

13 Jan Divorce in Recession

Divorce is a financial strain on your family because it divides you and your spouse’s cumulative assets. In this economy, where assets are quickly turning into debts, it is critical to understand the financial consequences of a divorce and how to make the most out of its aftermath. A divorce divides one family unit into two separate units. When one spouse moves out, there will be one more mortgage or rental payment to make. Having 2 separate families also means twice the living expenses, including, but not limited to: health insurance, car payments, and all the children’s needs in the separate households.

Debt loads start to grow when: 

  • you have been living beyond your means even before considering divorce 
  • one of you have lost your job due to downsizing and have been depleting savings to cover living expenses 
  • you may be already living apart and dealing with additional expenses of second home

If you have accumulated substantial debt and are facing divorce, you will be dealing with how to divide the debt, rather than the equity. In the unstable economy, where your stocks, RRSPs, savings, and assets are quickly eroding, use the combined services of a certified divorce financial analyst and mediator to focus on a solution that works for both spouses.

06 Jan What the Supreme Court of Canada has to say about making changes to spousal support

This article explains what the Supreme Court of Canada has said about making changes to spousal support in the years after an agreement has been signed.  If you want to be able to make changes in the future, then your agreement today should say so- and it should also say what future events would be considered if one person or both want to make changes. 

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/supreme-court-takes-firm-stand-on-spousal-support-payments/article2279213/

The more open the negotiations in the first place, the more likely you are to have the conversation about the future “what-if’s”.  Both mediation and Collaborative Practice encourage these conversations.  For more information, go to www.mutualsolutions45.com .

21 Dec Getting the Paperwork Organized for Mediation:

Starting the divorce process can seem like a daunting task.  No matter which way you go about your divorce, from litigation to mediation, you will be asked for a lot of paperwork in order to get started. This is a great time of year to get that information together; the end of the year is a great time to get a full picture of earnings, expenses, budgets, taxes and other important information.  For those deciding to start the process of Mediation in the New Year, here is a list of the paperwork you will want to have prepared:

1.  Budgets: You may each have a budget for yourselves, you as a couple and for the children.  It is important to come up with an estimated budget for what your life will look like after separation. Be sure to include:

  • Health Insurance:  Include the cost for both parties after separation.  (Once divorce is final, if one spouse was covered by the other’s Health insurance, they will need a new policy.) 
  • Life Insurance: Make sure that whoever provides the primary support for the family is covered so that there will be funds available in case of emergency.
  • Housing Costs: If one party will be renting a new apartment or buying a new house.
  • Remember, take your regular household expenses (gas, water, hydro, food, travel etc.) and create estimates for what that will look like for two households

2.  Recent pay stubs.

3. Most Recent Statements from All Accounts (last four digits of the account number ONLY)

  • Checkings
  • Savings
  • Mutual Funds
  • Stocks/Bonds
  • Any other accounts in which you have individual or joint investments. 

4.  List of Social Security Numbers for each party and their children.

5.  Income Tax Forms for the last three to five years.

6.  Real Estate Holdings & All Mortgage Information

  • List the last four numbers of the Account
  • Name of Bank holding the Mortgage
  • Terms of payments.

 7.  Retirement Accounts

  • Name of Institution holding account  (last four digits of the account number)
  • Terms of Payment – death benefit, annuity
  • Amount in each account
  • Include any stock options.

8.  List of All Assets acquired during the marriage: While this may not be a list that you agree on, the mediation process is intended to help you work through dividing your assets in an equitable manner.  If you disagree, each of you should make your own lists that can be discussed as part of the negotiation.  If you have already divided your assets, you may choose to make the list anyway so that it can be included in your agreement. Think about:

  • Collections
  • Cars
  • Jewelry
  • Antiques, etc.

9.  Wills

You will need a minimum of three copies of this information, one for each of you and one for the Mediator.  Having this paperwork ready before starting the Mediation process (or any other divorce process) will be helpful to both parties.  It will allow both parties the chance to get a better picture of where you are financially, which will help when you begin the negotiation process.

02 Dec THINKING SEPARATION OVER THE HOLIDAYS

It is not uncommon for families to delay taking steps toward separation until after the holidays are over.  For many, this can mean sadness, tension and worry that their children may be affected by the breakdown of the relationship.

It is normal to put off difficult first steps.  It is also normal to be hopeful that time together with the family may provide a chance to rethink such a big decisions.

Adding to the mix is the seasonal overspending that most of us succumb to every year.  Sober financial realities get pushed aside.  Credit card statements that will resurface in January are part of the tensions and worry for those already confused about how they will restructure finances if they separate.

Here are a few tips that may help:

*   Find activities for the family that are cost free such as skating, a winter walk around Toronto Islands,  a stroll on the boardwalk in the Beaches, etc.

*   Take the first step and look into mediation or Collaborative Practice before the holidays so that you have some idea what it is all about.

*   Set an example of good communications in front of your children. When you finally tell them about the separation, you will be able to point to the holidays as a time when you were already thinking about separation and help them see that you will still be able to talk to one another.

*   Try having a good conversation about budgeting for the holidays.

*   Set some new traditions that will mark the season.

Remember that there are many services for helping families have a good separation.  The more you are involved in making decisions about how you will separate the better the outcome will be for the whole family.