20 Nov Exciting News about “Grey Divorce” book

Announcing  the upcoming  publication of our book  “  When Harry Left Sally – Finding your way through Grey Divorce” .   It will be available in a couple of weeks.  I’ll keep you updated to let you know when it will be available to order from online retailers and dedicated website for “When Harry Left Sally”.

Co-authored by Marion Korn, a well known senior family lawyer and mediator, and Eva Sachs, a skilled Financial Planner, specializing in divorce, the book shines a light on the growing numbers of grey divorcees and their unique concerns and goals.  Through stories collected in their years of practice together, Marion and Eva challenge the reader to change the way they approach their divorce. This book is the roadmap every divorcing grey couple needs.

Here’s a preview look!

Finding your way through Grey Divorce

17 Sep Divorce Costs

According to a recent AVVO divorce study, couples are most concerned about the costs of divorce.  People today have more choice in how they will proceed with their divorce..from  doing it themselves , mediation, collaborative practice,  lawyer negotiations to court.  The survey  indicated that a majority of people  (58%)  site the cost of divorce as a major factor/concern  in moving forward with the divorce.  When reviewing what approach may work best for  a family, making the right choice in terms of professional fit , control, timing are all  things that need to be considered. However, the reality of the total  expense for the family appears  to be a big  part of the decision.

It’s important to establish from the beginning some sort of “divorce budget”and understanding the value proposition of any process  you ultimately choose.  Being quoted the hourly rate or first retainer  is not enough information. Getting the answer .. “it depends” to the question “How much will this cost”  may not be good enough anymore.  Understanding that other professionals are part of a divorce team and learning  what they all do in the process, what they charge, what their involvement may be , and  what couples can do on their own, helps  in understanding what the  ultimate  costs may be .

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05 Jun Measuring Your Lifestyle

A business metric is any type of measurement used to gauge some quantifiable component of a company’s performance. Business metrics are part of the broad area of business intelligence, which comprises a wide variety of applications and technologies for gathering, storing, analyzing, and providing access to data to help enterprise users make better business decisions. Creating a “metrics” to measure family lifestyle can be a valuable tool when you are separating. It useful information to have and it is usually part of the financial disclosure information required.

A family’s “lifestyle metrics” includes

  • The day to day living expenses incurred during the marriage
  • Spending habits of the individual family members
  • Recurring  expenses by category of expense
  • Unusual , non recurring seasonal expenses

Benefits to you :

  • Information is accurate rather than “best guesses”
  • Provides a reality check for couples of where their money is really going
  • Uncovers any gaps /discrepancies between reported income and non reported income
  • Provides more accurate picture of what is required by each spouse post separation
  •  Starting point for  each spouse to develop their own individual future budgets

Speak to me about the possibility of creating a metrics of your family’s lifestyle.

 

01 Jun Financial Homework in Grey Divorce

When you’re considering divorce in your 50’s,    a big concern is the financial impact for you and your spouse at this stage of your lives.  If you delayed having children, they may be young and child support payments may derail retirement plans/savings. You may still be faced with funding post secondary education. You may be supporting aging parents. One spouse may already be retired.

Part of divorce is dissolving your family’s joint financial relationship. This can’t be done unless you know the total financial picture. All the facts need to be on the table so you can determine how best to separate your finances allowing both of you to make the best choices of how you will move forward on your own.

This means doing some homework in advance.  As a start, you need to find and prepare the following documents:

  • Tax returns from most recent tax years
  • Recent paystubs that show payroll deductions
  • List of personal property  such as cars, boats, valuable art, jewellery, antiques
  • Recent statement from Assets:
    • Bank accounts
    • Investment accounts including open, RRSP, RRIF accounts
    • Education savings Accounts
    • Other assets such as Stock options, other Company awards
    • Company Pension
  • Recent statements of Debts: Mortgage, Line of Credit both personal and joint, Car loans
  • Miscellaneous Info: Life insurance, Medical benefit plans
  • Business Ownership details

Doing your homework takes time.  Documents may be hard to locate. You may have to request copies from the bank or your employer. You may not have looked at some of these documents for a very long time.

You can hire a divorce financial professional to “tutor” you with your homework. They can help explain and organize it all so everyone is ready to start.

10 Apr Grey Divorce

In 2009, people ages 50 and older were twice as likely to divorce as their counterparts in 1990. Researchers have just begun to explore why. They know that, for many boomer couples, the kids are out of the house and it’s time to face reality. Who gets to keep what is  even more stressful at this age when  you have to consider the financial impact  this will have on the rest  of your life.

If you or someone you know is facing divorce in their 50’s, this is a  reminder that we are hosting “Late in Life” Divorce Talks on Thurs Apr 12th. Join us to hear about the what the financial  effects might be depending on whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee.

To register click here  http://www.eventbrite.com/event/2544127554

05 Apr We don’t want to go to court!!

For  couples contemplating separation or divorce at later stage of life, the costs of   prolonged negotiations that may erode assets that they’ ve set aside for their retirement  is not what they want to see happen. There are viable alternatives to costly litigation  that  allows the couple, rather than the court, to decide what is best for them.

If you or someone you know is facing divorce, join us on Apr 12  at “Late in Life” Divorce Talks.
Learn how our mediation process works and how it differs from litigation.  To register CLICK HERE

03 Apr Grey Divorce

For   “empty – nesters”, divorce is increasingly common. Though overall divorce rates have declined since spiking in the 1980s, there has been a rise in “grey divorce”.

At this stage of your life, you probably didn’t think divorce would be something you’d be contemplating when also having to consider things like investing in your business, funding your retirement, paying for your kid’s weddings or ending your working years.   The issues are significantly different than for someone in their 50’s or older than someone in their 30’s or 40’s.   You are concerned with your financial future.. can I afford to got  it alone ? How will this affect my retirement? What will I have to give up?

If you or someone you know is contemplating divorce at this stage of their lives, join us on Thurs. April 12th  for a discussion about unique issues of the older divorcing population.

Click Here for details and registration

12 Mar LIVE Divorce Talks… April 12th at 6:30pm

If you are considering a divorce, join Marion and myself for a conversation about the things that matter the most when thinking about separation and divorce – kids, finances and your future.  Our goal is to give you the answers you need in a safe and comfortable setting.  If you or someone you know is contemplating separation, join us to learn how to move from where you are today to a plan that works best for you and your family

Our next Divorce Talks session will take place on Thursday April 12th, 2012 6:30 to 8pm.

Fee: $25 (inclusive of HST)

Location: 79 Shuter St. Toronto, ON M5B 1B3

Refreshments will be served. 

For more information or to register please contact us at 647-341-9040 or   by e-mail at info@mutualsolutions.ca

Please register by Friday April 6th, 2012 at http://www.eventbrite.com/event/2544127554

21 Feb Divorce and the New Financial Reality

As  the  ups and downs of in the economy  increase,  so does the stress on married people to deal with the  inevitable pressure points that develop in the relationship.

Couples now have to deal with financial problems that are new to their relationship.

  • How to pay the bills if both of you are unemployed?
  • How to cope with the primary bread winner working less, or not at all
  • What if your spouse is spending more time at home?
  • How to accept a change in who is the primary earner in the marriage? (Wives making more than husbands is a fast growing trend because more men are being laid off than women).
  • How to live with the threat, or the reality, of being forced to move due to a mortgage foreclosure or rental eviction?
  • How to handle the added tension when grown children move back into the home due to their being laid off or not finding a job?

Dealing with these financial realities in an adversarial process doesn’t help anyone in the long run.   Working in a mediation or collaborative setting can help both spouses and families work through options and solutions that may ease these financial realities and help everyone transition to a secure future.